Archive for February, 2009

Have a lot going on…

So I have morning sickness… didn’t get it with my first pregnancy but definitely have it now. I’m not actually throwing up (which is good) but I’m continually having bouts of nausea and am just so exhausted it’s insane. I had a crappy weekend which consisted of me in my pjs most of the weekend, blobbing on the couch and feeling like death warmed up. I’m seeing the midwife tomorrow for the first time since I had Joshie so it’ll be nice to catch up with her again. However it was also a really sad weekend.

A good friend of mine Jo went into labour on Friday and had her little girl Friday morning. Unfortunately the umbilical cord was wrapped around little Alice Rose’s neck and body and she was born unconscious and was oxygen deprived for quite a few minutes. It took the team at the hospital 13 minutes to find a heartbeat and she was rushed off to NICU at Starship in critical condition. The doctors had already told Jo and her partner Gabby that Alice was likely to be severly brain damaged if she survived, and they did a scan and found she also had tumours on her little heart. Being so brain damaged they wouldn’t be able to do anything about the tumours, and little Alice died in Gabby’s arms early on Saturday morning. My heart absolutely breaks for them. Being a same-sex couple they went through so much to get pregnant, with Jo spending months in England so their lovely daughter Grace could have a biological sibling. It was their last shot and for it all to go so terribly wrong at the end is devastating for all involved. They’re the nicest couple you could meet and I’m so, so sad for them.

It’s hit me harder probably because I’m pregnant myself and I won’t stop being scared about this pregnancy until the kid (or kids) hit oh, 60 years old… face it, you never stop worrying about them but you learn to deal with the day to day worries. I’d forgotten how scary it was to be pregnant though, to have this little person in you so reliant on you doing the right thing for them but you ultimately having very little control over it all.

So after this weekend, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the nausea that let’s me know all is still well inside me. I’m grateful for the support I have from Steve and for the gorgeous wee boy I already have. And I’m grateful for Jo and Gabby’s friendship, I can only hope I can be as good a friend to them during this awful time.

L x