Needing to vent… be warned!!

Thought I’d better warn anyone not wanting to hear my rantings before I start.

It’s been a rough couple of months. I’m super relieved SENZ is over but since then Joshie has become a demon, I’ve been really sick with a never-ending headcold and generally things just could be better. Yep I know it’s just a rough patch, but sitting in the middle of it all gets a little overwhelming at times.

We’re having issues with Joshie, I’m not sure if he’s just playing up because he knows that Lucas is on the way or whether it’s the testosterone burst they get at this age but he’s been playing up something chronic. He’s just been SO naughty, yelling in my face while he’s holding my arms, saying no to everything, throwing his stuff around, tantrums and generally being a little S*&T. At a time when I’m really wishing this pregnancy was over and am needing him to be good, he’s being the complete opposite.

Aside from this he’s still not eating properly, he’s so fussy and has a fit if there’s anything new on his plate but I’m persisting with trying to introduce him to vegetables (he wouldn’t know what one was despite my best efforts). It’s so disheartening. On top of that we also have an issue with the toilet training. He’ll do No. 1’s in there no problem at all, but try and get him to do a No. 2 and he’ll whinge and say he can’t, it’s too hard and that he doesn’t need to. 5 mins later he’s done it in his underpants – the other day he even went to hide in the bathroom while he did it! I’m at my wits end and have reverted to pull ups in an attempt to show him that’s he’s being a baby by not using the toilet. It doesn’t matter how I approach it he just won’t even try.

There’s nothing wrong with Joshie, he’s just a very pedantic, hard-core kind of kid that does things his own way and always has. I just don’t know what to do next. I feel like the worst mother on the planet to have an almost 4 year old kid that won’t eat anything but chicken nuggets (he’s ok with breakfast and lunch but dinner is completely limited) and refuses to leave the nappies behind. He’s a kid that still gets up in the morning and wants his teddy, pillow, blanket (must be in that order) and a drink of milk… We’ve tried humouring him thinking he’ll grow out of it. We’ve tried being strict and dealing with the tantrums. We’ve tried coercing him with bribes. We’ve tried punishments like losing toys and time outs. NOTHING is working.

Is it just because Lucas is on the way? Will it change when he sees Lucas in nappies and eating better than he does? I so hope it does. We’ve talked to Joshie about being a big brother and showing Lucas how to be a big boy. We’ve tried stepping back about Lucas arriving thinking he was playing up because of feeling pressured to be a big boy. What do we do? I just don’t know. I’ve read the books. I’ve watch the Politically Incorrect Parenting Show but although I love it and it’s full of great advice, so much of it just doesn’t apply to a kiddo like Joshie. Normal ways of doing things just don’t seem to be working. All I can think of to do is carry on with the discipline and trying to encourage him to eat new things and use the toilet, and hope he decides he needs to be a big boy when he sees Lucas in nappies and eating baby food.

I’ve recently resigned from my position on the Rasberry Design Team as well. The products are lovely and it’s a great team to be a part of but with only 5 weeks to go before Lucas I needed to step back so I can concentrate on stuff that I can do from the house instead of having to go down to the office. I’ve pretty much moved all my work up onto my laptop now (thank you so much mum!) so at least I can work a little more comfortably now.

I’m back for another round of blood/urine tests tomorrow too. I’ve been really sick for the last 10 days with a horrible headcold I’ve not been able to take anything for and ended up with a trace of protein with my last midwife test. I suspect it’s the antibiotics I’ve been on (the only thing I could take as I also ended up with a respiratory infection) that affected the result but my blood pressure was up a little (no idea WHY Joshie… I say with sarcasm) but of course they’re all signs of pre-eclampsia. I’m not thinking there’ll be anything turn up in tests but it’s better to be safe than sorry. I also have to get another growth scan this week which I’m looking forward to, it’ll be nice to get a good look at Lucas before he makes his debut.

Other than all this I’m sooo over this pregnancy. The headcold has made it harder but Lucas is a busy wee fella and I’ve been so uncomfortable that I’ve not slept properly in months. He kicks a lot (nice and reassuring) but my hips are so sore all the time that I’m just done with it all. If I ever think of doing this again just shoot me.

The house is also getting me down, we’ve been living in a semi-renovated, tiny house now for almost 5 years and I hate it. I mean it could be worse but I just feel like we’re never going to get it finished so we can get out of here. And with the housing market like it is we’re stuck for now anyway. What I want to know is who I have to sleep with to get a house makeover… seriously thinking I should run my own telethon…

Ok… venting over… it’s pretty much all out. Of course there’s always more I could bitch about but now I’m just feeling like a big whinger and hate feeling so negative. I should be excited (which I am) but it’s all just a bit on top of me at the moment. All this and I feel like the goodyear blimp. Most pregnant women have gorgeous hair and glowing skin, I get hormone spots, greasy folicles and am generally at my most unattractive. I’m grateful that Lucas is ok, that Joshie is healthy (despite the fact I want to kill him right now) and that I only have a few weeks to go. With Mum and Dad in Cairns at the moment I’m totally grateful for the break I get on Kindy days.

On a lighter note I’ve just had my first layout published in Digital Artist Magazine, it was this one:

spring layout

Nice to see something different of mine in print (or in digi anyway). I’ve also been working on a new kit for Eidou and am loving how it’s coming out. Sales in the digi industry have slowed down as much as they have in the traditional scrapping industry and I’m wondering where to head next with the business. I’ve put in so much work in the past year and have a great group of people together on the site, but it’s just gone very quiet out there. I have a couple of ideas I want to implement as soon as I get chance but it’s disheartening. Serves me right for starting it up at the beginning of a recession (which hadn’t hit here when I did it)…

Oh well, on the upside we’ve upgraded our modem to a wireless router so I can surf at the same time as Steve and from anywhere in the house without cables everywhere – sweet! Some things are looking up anyway! LOL

Ok, so apologies for the venting (but you were warned), but sometimes you just gotta get it out. Roll on Spring. I’m ready for the sun, for playing with Joshie on the deck, for the end of being cooped up pregnant with a bored almost-4-year-old.

L x

4 responses to this post.

  1. 5 weeks…just 5 weeks…. it’ll fly… I hope 🙂
    Hope you feel better sooner than later…


  2. That really sucks! It’s enough having to deal with just ONE of those things, but to have all of them at once? That’s tough. I can definitely relate to the fussy eating, but it WILL get better. It might not be for a few years, but at least there’s hope, eh? Keep on doing what you’re doing, and presenting him with the new foods, I read somewhere you need to do it 14 times or something for them to accept (or try) it. But it’s so hard as a mum to have that patience! I can also relate to the toilet training issues, but it’s pretty normal for kids (boys especially) to not want to do #2’s on the toilet, even if they are happy to do #1’s. Both my boys were “late” toilet trainers, and I got plenty of comments about how they should be out of nappies already, but I realised that they just weren’t ready until they were older. They both got there in the end, and so will Joshie. Something needs to “click” for him, and all you can do is just encourage him like you’re doing now.
    I hope you start to feel better soon as well. Everything is harder when you’re not feeling 100%. ((hugs))


  3. Whew, life is sometimes so …. not sure what the right word is – challenging?!!! My hubby has just got back after 3 months of me doing everything while he worked in Aussie – the money helped but it was really really tough and I feel like I am venting 3 months worth of frustration at him and all the hard times – it is tough. Some days I just wonder where my patience has gone. Jordan is good a lot but she often pushes Jacob over and bites him on occassion – so frustrating when all these things are supposedly normal – I read in Toddler taming about distraction as a technique – i thought yeah right but a lot of the times I am surprised that it actually works – lets face it kids don’t live like the way the books talk about – I really hope the rest of the time flies and that you get some time out – you deserve it!!! Take care


  4. I agree with what Hannah has said that he will get there in the ARE doing all the right things Louise! Its worst timing for you but I always said that my kids did thing in 3 month stages..(it was a way of keeping my sanity at times). I think you are right to be firm on the food thing and hey he wont go hungry ..perhaps stop feeding the nuggets and give him his breakfast cereal etc instead…give him his meat an veges at lunch in another form eg soup? pasta?
    A lot of boys have the #2 issue and I had a friend whose child had issues until he was 8. Let him know you are happy with the result and he has to deal with the poo cos you dont like he has to take his undies to the loo and get rid of poo or wash the poo..sounds harsh but it worked for a friends son.
    Gotta try anything once I reckon!


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